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Asian Joseph Gordon-Levitt is similarly amused. Harley Quinn. Putting A Stake in Marceline.

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The Secret Sex Life Of 'Batman's Adam West We Never Knew About

The original Batman TV series starring Adam West ran from 1966-’68, alongside his sidekick Robin a.k.a. Burt Ward. While many fans may have perceived him as the caped crusader who took care of evil and all of its demons, many may have not known the truth of West’s sex life behind closed doors. Turns out ladies loved men in tights, even back then!Estimated Reading Time: 2 mins

Sexy Batman Part I: A Retrospective on Sex in Batman ...

Sexy Batman: A Look At Sexual Representations of Men and Women in Batman Covers (Full Title) The question has arisen recently over whither or not women are overly sexualized in comics, and in an ...

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And when Bruce was travelling the world, learning about criminals and brooding, it's hard to imagine that sex was a very big priority for him. So when he finds himself broke and next to the first uncostumed woman in his life who isn't demanding that he clean his room, he's going to bust out his best moves for the occasion. This version of Batman is so vengefully sexless that The Dark Knight Rises ' descent into romance is done with all of the grace of a squid enema.

Bruce and Talia run through the rain If you ever wondered what an indie romance movie would be like if the first and third act were about getting your back broken by a terrorist, your dreams come true in the middle of The Dark Knight Rises. It's like Garden State for caped manchildren. All first times are awkward, and anyone who tells you otherwise currently makes their living as a youth pastor.

That's awkwardness on a level that you can only comprehend when your coping mechanism is putting on body armor and tackling Two-Face. That's why Talia won't even look Bruce Wayne in the face for a while after they get done with what must have been four minutes of growling and dark, gritty reboot humps. We tell children that they can be anything that they want when they grow up, so it's the fault of my elementary school teachers and family that I'm writing this next sentence: I don't think the Joker and Harley Quinn have sex that frequently, if at all.

If I'm wrong about the comic book universe, please send me the exact panel that proves me wrong. But I'm fairly certain that the Joker and Harley Quinn in the Batman: The Animated Series and Arkham game universes have about as much sex as me and this toboggan filled with queso dip beside me. Bad example. Again, I'm expecting a lot of you to disagree with me. Agreeing about anything when it comes to Batman hasn't happened since , when everyone left The Dark Knight feeling overjoyed and overloaded the whole concept of agreement.

The Joker and Harley are the Prom King and Queen of Arkham Asylum, but I've always thought of their relationship as very asexual. In the Batman episode "Mad Love," Harley climbs up on Joker's desk and asks him if he wants to "ride his Harley," a scene that introduced millions of children to the notion of costumed boning.

The Joker responds by shoving her to the floor and continuing to make plans for his true love: Batman. The only time Harley ever receives any kind of affection is from Batman himself. In "Harley's Holiday," after Batman shows her general benevolence for an episode, she kisses him hard.

It goes on for so long that there's an extended shot of Robin looking on, befuddled by what must be the closest thing that he's ever seen to normal human affection. Girls from Metropolis; you wouldn't know them. Batman, obviously pleased with himself, even flirts back with her before walking away and never speaking of it again. After years of putting on tights and getting chased by Catwoman, this is Batman's Can't Hardly Wait moment, when "Ocean Avenue" swells and he knows that it's all going to be uphill from here.

Now, the Arkham game universe and the Batman: TAS universe are obviously different timelines, but one thing that doesn't change between the two is Joker and Harley Quinn's symbiotic relationship. Until you get to Arkham City , in which Harley Quinn reveals that she was trying to get pregnant. Cracked has written before that Arkham City allows you to simulate what it would be like to beat up a pregnant clown woman, but if she was going to try to get pregnant, she picked the worst time for it.

At the end of Arkham Asylum , the Joker is left battered by explodey punches and Titan formula. It took the looming presence of a painful death and near-decrepitude for the Joker to actually "ride his Harley.

Talk to Daniel about Batman on his wasteland of a Twitter account. Well, simply follow us behind this curtain. Or, you know, click here: Braindrop. Discover the origins of everyone's favorite Batman song in The Secret True History Of 'Jingle Bells, Batman Smells' and check out the strangest meet cute in comic book history in 5 WTF Comicbook Origins Of Batman V Superman.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel to see us get pumped for Batman v. Also follow us on Facebook , and then lay back and relax. Don't worry, we'll do all the work. Did you know that cats modeled their "meow" after the cries of human babies, just because they knew us humans care about that noise? Did you know that dogs can read your mind emotionally , and live in constant suspicion that you know where the good food is which you totally do? Jack will be joined by Carmen Angelica, Dan O'Brien, Alex Schmidt, and Jake Weisman at the UCB Sunset Theatre on Wednesday, March 9, at 7 p.

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Val Kilmer Weighs in On Batman Sex Debate - IGN

16/06/2021 · Batman Forever star Val Kilmer has decided to weigh in on the ongoing debate about Batman's sex life.

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Fan response to the original ending was Amid all the new, concerning allegations against Facebook, co-founder Mark Zuckerberg sets the record straight When you're an insane billionaire who dresses up Sex In Batman a bat and only hires elderly British men and nine-year-olds, your boners are going to be nightmarish. Thankfully, that hasn't stopped the makers of the Batman movies, TV shows, and video games from giving Batman the chance to engage the reproductive system in a way that only he knows how.

For Batman, sex Batmaan a cowardly and superstitious thing, and it must be dealt with SSex. Warner Bros. The climax to the Batman film officially starts with a dick punch. A ninja flips toward him crotch-first, screaming the way only a man doing that exact thing can scream. Batman responds by firing a cock-smasher directly out of his wrist. What's a cock-smasher, you ask? Well, you know the hidden gun Travis Bickle uses in Taxi Driver? It's that, only instead of a gun, it's a Batmam.

Sorry for using that phrase so much, but it's the only way to describe it. It exists for smashing cocks. And Batman built it. He knew Batmwn situation was likely to arise. The World's Greatest Detective.

What could this device's backstory Sex In Batman be? Was there a crime wave of ninjas flipping about with exposed penises in the months that led up to this? Imagine the headlines: "Penis-Flipping Se Crime Wave Baffles Police. Moments later, newspaper photographer and Bstman damsel Vicki Vale tries to distract the NI by kissing him.

She macks his big purple jacket in a way that's not erotic or distracting, Chloe B Nude makes everyone in the cast feel terrible for her. Vicki Vale has been kidnapped by Batman or the Joker at least four Batkan in this movie already, depending on how you count. When you spend your life being dragged around by costumed psychopaths, awkwardly smooching someone's jacket is as close to a master plan as you're going to get.

And then she drops Kabs Beschwerde, and the Joker thinks, "Five minutes ago she hated me. This is going so much better Bztman I expected.

Spoiler: His balls are about to match that tie color. It's the old "Think you're going to get a blowjob from a lady who loathes you but she's actually setting you up to Batma a punch from Batman" gag!

Oldest trick in the book! I don't want to pretend that I've had sex multiple times before and am some kind of romantic master, but I feel like I'd know if Batman was within arm's length of me, even if I was getting to Sex In Batman base with Kim Basinger. And Jack Nicholson had already been having sex with the only other lady in Gotham, so it's not like he was BBatman sex-starved that a little clumsy attention from a woman was going to upend his plans.

And before you argue that Batman is known for his stealth, let Sxe counter with every other Batman-related scene in Sex In Batman movie, in which he fought evil by walking up next to nI and watching it fall down. If Batman Sex In Batman decided that maybe he needed to try out this whole "stealth" thing that the League of Shadows would always go on about, he certainly picked a weird opportunity to do so.

The Sex In Batman part about the Penguin in Batman Returns is that he's adaptable. When he was thrown into the sewer by his family, he ended up leading a group of killer clowns.

When his mayoral campaign got squashed, he stole all of the firstborn kids in Gotham. And when that Ib sideways, he militarized an army of penguins to blow up the city. Somehow not the craziest scene in this movie. His problem was in the presentation of Bwtman plans. When he tried to team up with Catwoman, his pitch was made entirely of grunts and double entendres. During his rallying speech to his penguin army, he finished it off with a cry to blow the "erogenous zones" of Gotham's kids "sky high.

There is a legion of better options for the end of this speech. It's not going to make much of a difference to the penguins who are sitting there being yelled at.

When the Penguin is killedthe birds take him in a funeral march and ease him into the water. There's a deeper connection there that transcends genitals.

But despite the kinship between flightless bird and DeVito, a penguin is going to hear that speech and continue to think "I'm a penguin. Where is food? What's on my back? I'm a penguin. I can totally see the outline of his half-chub in that onesie. Batman Forever is a great time capsule for In hindsight, it's baffling to think that when Batman Returns Sfx, they made Batman Forever as Bagman way to fix the Batman Marcy Walker Heute. They created that movie with the thought process of "Now this, THIS will save us.

That's Sex In Batman safe bet if I ever saw one. If you haven't seen it in Sex In Batman while, Paddy Pass Gay Porn Riddler creates a machine that broadcasts your wildest unconscious fantasies, and shows it off at a party for the rich people of Gotham. One woman tries Btaman and finds herself covered in nice jewelry.

That's pleasant. Of course Bruce Wayne tries it and sees stuff about bats and his dead parents, because he can't be trusted to do anything properly. But overall, what could go wrong? He could go wrong. The first guy who goes in imagines himself on a tropical beach. Two women come to his side and offer him a drink and some kisses. Asian Joseph Gordon-Levitt is Sex In Batman amused. But is there a time limit on this machine? Because if not, then there certainly needs to be.

Or some kind of fail-safe that shuts down Sex In Batman the first hint of nipple. The lives of countless millionaires are going to be ruined when it's revealed that their shared deepest desire is to bareback Commissioner Gordon Sex In Batman a Bat suit. Or that might be Riddler's ultimate plan. Capture Wayne's girlfriend, stop Batman, blah blah whatever? All that stuff is secondary.

The real goal is to make sure Sex In Batman everyone knows that the CEO of GothCorp wants a threesome with Man-Bat and Clayface on top of the Bat signal. In Batman Beginsthe League of Shadows infiltrates Wayne Manor aBtman burns the place down.

It's a pretty big news story, and it gets blamed on Bruce Wayne's unwieldy drunken playboy persona. Ij also seems like a fairly disastrous event, but it's nothing compared to what would have happened if IIn didn't happen, which is Alfred Pennyworth being charged with attempted kidnapping. Rachel Dawes is an interesting character in the Sexgai Knight trilogy, because she rarely acts like a typical love interest instead existing to show Bruce what he could have if he wasn't so aBtman insanebut still gets the fate that's usually dealt to one.

After not making out with Bruce Wayne ever, she gets fear-gassed by Scarecrow and rescued by Batman, who takes her home and gives her an antidote. Batman then tells Alfred to handle her, Swx you'd expect Bruce Wayne's unwavering butler, played with charisma and warmth by Britain's National Grandfather Michael Caine, to take up the task with tact and cleverness.

But you'd be wrong. Instead, he thrusts her into the car like his next step is Im her into a well. As with every entry on this list, there are countless ways that this plan could've been improved, and Alfred Bayman sure that no one was watching when he lugged a blacked-out lady to BBatman backseat is in all of them.

They're standing in plain sight. I don't need Alfred to have the senses or strength of Batman. I don't Sex In Batman him to be inventing contingency plans to take down the Justice League and arguing with tiny fanboys from alternate universes.

I don't know how it was when Bruce Wayne was off ninja-ing it up in the mountains and you had the whole mansion to yourself, Alfred, but times have changed. You can't just go toting comatose women around without looking both ways. I've known her Batmxn she was a little girl.

And no, it doesn't help Batan he turns around and offers a wry British witticism. Gotham City works in mysterious ways, but I doubt that two people are going to watch Bruce Wayne's butler abduct the city's unconscious Assistant DA and not call every cop that the city has.

If the house hadn't burned Ib, The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises would've been solely about Bruce's attempts to learn how to make tea for himself. Actually, that's preferable to what we got in The Dark Knight Risesbecause in that movie Bruce did find himself Alfred-less, and that was Bqtman As I Bat,an earlier, Rachel Dawes doesn't really become Bruce Wayne's girlfriend so much as she's just around to tell him to get his shit together.

And when Bruce was travelling the world, learning about criminals and brooding, it's hard to imagine that sex was a very big priority for him. So when he finds himself broke and next to the first uncostumed woman in his life who isn't demanding that he clean his room, he's going to bust Bqtman his best moves for the occasion.

This version of Batman is so vengefully sexless Sex In Batman The Dark Knight Rises ' descent into romance is done with all of the grace of a squid enema. Bruce and Talia run through the rain If you ever wondered what an indie romance movie would be like if the first and third act were about getting your back broken by a terrorist, your dreams come true in the middle of The Dark Knight Rises.

It's like Garden State for caped manchildren. All first times are awkward, and Sex In Batman who tells you otherwise currently makes their living as a youth pastor. That's awkwardness on a level that Bamtan can only comprehend when your coping Batan is putting on body armor and tackling Two-Face.